


Icarus – As Five-0 reached for the sun

by the50thstate



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Drama, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Steve's Pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-26
Updated: 2012-10-26
Packaged: 2017-11-17 01:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the50thstate/pseuds/the50thstate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a day of joy, Steve's memories drift back in the painful past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Icarus – As Five-0 reached for the sun

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to “The most unexpected most unacceptable thing...” and again Steve's POV
> 
> Make sure, you read it before, because this wouldn't make much sense if you don't take the time. And don't worry, it's not that long. 
> 
> A/N: I have no medical knowledge. Only did a little research in the www.
> 
> A/N: This took me quiet some time to finish. So, Malia is still alive in this and Adam does not exsist.
> 
> A/N: In the Greek mythology the main story about Icarus is his attempt to escape from his captivity by means of wings built of feathers and wax. He ignored the instructions not to fly to near to the sun, so the wax melted and he fell and drowned in the sea.  
> I felt for them a little like thatduring writing this. Maybe you catch me thought when you read it.
> 
> And last A/N: English is not my first language, so please don't be annoyed so much ;).

 

 

 

 

** Icarus – As Five-0 reached for the sun **

 

 

 

**Steve's POV : **

**I raise my head up to the sky, smiling. It's an other perfect day in paradise. Truth to be told, it's getting pretty hot under the jacked of my Navy Uniform. Standing in one of many rows of members of the law enforcement family of Hawaii together with Kono, Eric, Max and Chin I notice they all are sharing the same ridiculous smile on their faces and nearly busting with proud, as well as I do.**

**This is our day! If 2 years ago someone would have told me, we came saluting here to honor the best law enforcement officer this state has ever seen, I would have called him a complete idiot. But here we are. Today former New Jersey Detective hoale Daniel Williams becomes Hawaii's Chief of police. I allow my memories to drift backwards. To say it was a rocky road to get this far, would be the understatement of the century. For a long time we walked on the edge of the abyss. But we made it. Because Danny made it.....**

 

**h50h50h5oh50**

 

After his mental breakdown five years after our beloved Gracie died, Danno took his time to come to terms with his life accepted professional help and then came back to the job a few month later stronger than ever before.

That was the start of Five-0's most successful time. It was a time of permanent highs and at some point I thought we were able to move mountains. The Gov was very pleased with our success rate and had our backs whatever shit we – no to be fair, it was mostly Kono and I - blew up in the process.

Every time we cheerfully celebrated an other closed case, Danny (the voice of reason, as ever) told us to just come back down to earth because there would be so much more work to do.

And he was right. Crime never sleeps. We were reminded painfully two years later. Kono and Adam had just gotten married 3 month ago, when Daniel had his nearly fatal accident.

 

**h50h50h5oh50**

 

The morning of that day we planed a big drug bust in cooperation with the Feds. My partner seemed unsettled and withdrawn. I remember asking him, if something was wrong and he said something like, 'things never going smooth with FBI in charge during a bust' (God, how right he was). He asked everyone to just be careful. This wasn't something new. But I saw it in his eyes, that day. He was worried, .. so worried about us, that hours later he just forgot to be careful for himself.

Hours later, he was pinned between a FBI SUV and a brick wall trembling in shock, head and hands weakly resting on the hood of the car. Kono was terrified. If Danny hadn't shoved her out of the line she would have been the one hurt. She stood beside Danny soothing his hair and quietly repeated the same question. 'Why Danno, why did you do this, you idiot, why.' Then at some point Danny responded his voice shaking. 'Couldn't let this happn' to you 'n Adam....' he drew another shuddering breath ' ...'n the baby.' I saw Kono's shocked face: “What?!” She whispered, “how did you know? I told no one jet, including Adam” And with a hint of a smile Danny answered: 'Saw it in your eyes babe!'

As a view minutes later, adrenaline weened off he couldn't hide the enormous amount of pain he was in anymore. Whimpering he begged me to remove the car but I knew there was no way moving him, this had to be bad and we had to wait 'till the paramedics would arrive, what seemed to take ages.

And yes, it was bad! So much more bad than we were ready to admit to each other when we witnessed the dramatic moments it took the rescue and EMT preparing our friend, before they were able to remove the SUV and to secure him on the gurney. They couldn't afford to lose time. Danny's internal bleeding increased the second the pressure of the car was gone. I remember the minutes I drove with Chin behind the ambulance. It was the first time they didn't allow me to ride with them, because all the room was needed to work on their patient. And I knew there was no time for an argument then. It nearly killed me.

Eight hours!!!.... It took eight hours for us waiting in the OR area, nearly loosing it, checking on Kono who was on observation because it was clearly visible that she was in shock. Again waiting, hoping that no news had to be good news.

Then Chins wife Malia exited the OR section. She looked bone tired and worried and so serious, I prepared for the worst.

She took a seat and folded her hands in her lap. 'He lives!' She said, voice shivering. She rubbed her face with her hands: 'God... they lost him tree times on the table! The second time, they were nearly giving up but Danny heart started beating again with the last try to shock him. We don't know jet how much the stress compromised the heart.' she told us.

Mine was racing and I had problems to force air into my lungs. I knew there was more to come. And sadly it did.

Malia had a hard time as she informed us about the major extend of Danny injuries.

My friend had an unstable pelvic fracture, a shattered femoral bone, also he busted his knee again. I only could listen to her in horror.

They stabilized the pelvic with an external fixator in order to stop the internal bleeding and had removed the bone fractures in his thigh. They would try to fix his knee, the time he is stable enough to stand another surgery. For know, he is in a medical inducted coma for the time being so he won't have to deal with the pain. 

'Will he going to be okay?'I heard Chin asking her.

'He is strong Chin, we will get him through this', I stated searching for confirmation in Malias face.

But she shook her head and took a deep breath: 'I'm sorry Babe, … Steve', she locked eyes with me. You know, I'm not the expert here. But from my experience I would say, you have to prepare yourself, that physically Danny will never be the same again.....

Finally Danny was settled in ICU and Dr. Lewis allowed us to see him for a few minutes. I tried to be prepared for the worst, but... I will never forget the sight of Daniel, surrounded by an amount of medical equipment laying ever so pale and still in this hospital bed. The picture hounds me still sometimes in my dreams.

His bad leg was slightly elevated and covered with gauze. But the most disturbing thing was the picture of the external fixator and its Pins stuck to his flesh. I barely held it together.

Kono couldn't. The broke down in Adams arms.

Chin who seemed stuck stone faced near the door shook his head and had to leave the room.

Since the night Gracie died and his breakdown years later this was the third time I cried for Danno.....

 

**h50h50h5oh50**

 

**A hurricane of applause brings me back to the present. Danno stands in frond of the Governor who hands him his letter of appointment. Seeing D. standing on his feet without any help amazes me. Because Malia was right that night in the hospital...**

****h50h50h5oh50** **

After a week in the coma the docs told me it was time to wean Danny off of some medications to wake him up. They assured me, that he would still experience in a great chunk of pain, despite of the 8 days of reprieve they gave his body to heal.

It was terrible! Just so terrible, to watch him struggling to a certain degree of awareness, whimpering in pain. And to have nothing, nothing you can do to make it better than to sit at his side and try to give comfort the best you could in a brief touch or some soothing words. And then days later, to lower the overwhelming panic when full awareness of his own desolate state of health set in.

The fixator stayed for two and a half month, left him immobile in bed for 2/3 of the time. And then, all he could do was sitting in a wheelchair for short periodes of times.

After three more surgeries within the 5 month hospital stay, he was ready to be released to start rehab. For a short time Daniel thought about going back to Jersey. But with his now aged parents this seemed not to be an option. “I can't let them deal with me in their state of health. It should have to be the other way”, he said at a loss.

“ _ **YOU**_ , are not going anywhere! Got it?” I made my point clear. I wouldn't let him go away from us, NO WAY! “We will deal with it!” I told him. This let to a several hours ongoing argument.

“ _ **YOU**_ can't go working and tending me! The day only has 24 hours so far”, he reasoned. “This will take month, you know, hell it can take a YEAR!”

I was so stubborn then. Telling him, there was no way for us letting him stay in the hospital charming two-bed-room of a rehab clinic. And then, there would be Chin, Max, and Kamekona to organize the trips to the rehab sessions. I argued with him until he simply was to tired to fight it anymore, so he reluctantly gave in.

But rehab was a bitch! After four weeks, I learned I made a mistake and he was right. Danno was in real bad pain after every session. The time we arrived home he only wanted his pain medication and then he went to bed. Sometimes he cried in agony quietly till his mind and body gave in and he felt in an uneasy sleep. But he didn't complain. You know, it's Danny we are talking about.

I couldn't bring it over me to leave his side that days. So at some point it took all my lasted energy reserves to just survive the next day. My anxious teammates warned me to delegate some of the responsibility to them. But as stubborn as I am, I refused to listen.

Then one night I fell asleep on a stake out and it nearly ended in a disaster for Chin and Kono. Chin Ho was really pissed but nodded as I begged them, not to tell Danny.

It was Kamekona, who solved both problems a few days later in his own unique way. He was on the roster to take Danno to physio and witnessed how much our friend suffered after the therapists were done with him. He had a little talk to one of them, who told him if Danny would stay as an intern patient, they could deal with the pain in much more effective ways than IV's, injections and pills. He told him Danny knew this but he was determined to make it with the smallest amount of pain relief medications an no alternative medicine “mamboo jumboo”.

That evening our big guy had a long long talk with me and D.. Boy, he really read us the riot act. At least Daniel confessed that he was sick of dealing with the amount of pain and then with Kam bringing up the sleeping incident was the last straw for Danny. Next day he packed his duffel bag and I phoned the Gov. to ask him to take advantage of his influence and getting his favorite Detective a single room arrangement.

The first weeks were difficult for all of us. No one was ready to let our mate out of sight for more than half a day. Danny knew it and for some irrational reason felt guilty for leaving us. But he talked to a psychologist to deal with the whole situation and it did the job.

 

**h50h50h5oh50**

 

Seven month … my god, at the end, it took him seven month of pain, hope, tears, frustration and resignation just to hear they were sorry, but they didn't expect further improvement and that -if he would carry on with his exercises- he should be able to walk short distances with the help of crutches. But they are afraid given the major extend of his waist and leg injuries, the chances to ever get rid of the wheelchair for good were very very slim.

It was final then: The accident was the end of his career as a street cop. And it nearly killed him, he was a cop through and through. And being forced off the street, seemed to be the end of his world.

Then, the amazing Gov Denning who refused to loose one of his most highly respected Detectives, offered him a job as chief profiler (the part of our job, Danny was so phenomenal in).

Danny agreed! Kono Chin and I were over the moon. We couldn't bear the thought of loosing the the epicenter of Five-0-power.

But our enthusiasm faded a view month later after Danny got back to work. We all witnessed, he was suffering mentally. Every time we where in the field, he was worried nearly out of his mind, because he couldn't back up us anymore. He tried hard, we knew, but he simply couldn't handle it.

And then one day during a bust that D. followed over the radio Kono, now mother of a cute little baby boy, got hit by a ricochet in her shoulder.

Chin and me had to secure the crime scene, Adam was on a business trip on the mainland. So Danny took a cap to the hospital.

The time we arrived, our friend told us there was no word on Kono, yet and we waited in silence for the doc to update us. Half a hour later, we were confirmed by Dr. Lewis, that our team member would be fine. The bullet caused minor damage, she would be released from the hospital and we could take her home. The moment Danny laid eyes on Kono, absorbing the sight of her bandaged shoulder, he was on the end of his streak and went down with a real, proper panic attack.

I never witnessed something like that before. D's whole body was trembling and he started to hyperventilate. Alarmed Kono called for a doc. I did my best trying to calm him down. But he was so far gone, it seemed I couldn't reach him. He repeatedly mumbled “I'm sorry, I can't … I'm sorry. I felt his heart beating in overdrive.

The docs had to sedate him. He was brought into a room and slept 14 hours straight. An indication how exhausted and stressed he was. I stayed with him the whole time.

When he woke up finally, after being examined and with the advice to just rest for at least a few days, he was released. I never forget the sight of Daniel sitting on the edge of the bed looking totally lost. “You comin' babe?” I asked him as I entered the hospital room after the doc examined him.

“Huh!”, he said, his voice held hints of confusion. “Can't”! He scanned the room, “crutches 're gone.”

My heart broke:” Don't know how you did it, but you came without them D.. Come on I've got you”. I slung one of his arms around my neck and lifted him onto my arms. He didn't complain because he was used to it by now (it's hard to get to the water edge on crutches or whith a wheel chair).

“Hm! Explains the pain.” He mumbled.

At this moment I gave a shit of hospital policy and how it might looked to other people. I brought him home and tuged him in. Then I called Kono, Adam, Malia and Chin. Decisions had to be made...

 

**h50h50h5oh50**

 

**Danny gets my attention again the moment he starts with his speech and I notice, he scans the rows. I have to smile. “He is searching for that white hat of yours”. Kono, who noticed too, whispers next to me.**

**And yes, the second he catches my sight a smile lights up his face. My heart skips a beat. I can't say how grateful I am to have him in my life....**

****h50h50h5oh50** **

It took some hard decisions for our ohana to get to this point were life couldn't seem to get better. To not have to worry much more about the people you love, than other people have to.

Five-O as a task force does no longer exist.

We had a long talk to Gov. Denning he listened patiently as we explained our motives to quit. In the end, it was easy. With Kono now being responsible for her little boy, Adams and Malias constant fear of loosing their partners and Danny's latest incident at the hospital he understood our decisions.

As requested Chin and Kono transferred to Honolulu police academy to “torture” the soon to be rookies (Kono finds so much fun in it).

For me, it took a few calls some of Dennings influence and a meeting with my friend Commander Wade Gutches from Seal team nine and I signed in as a Seal training officer at pearl with the assurance that I would never have to be in the field again.

After all was settled, the hardest part still had to be done: How do we tell Danny? That was the question of all questions then. We decided to team up for that with the governor and his family. On a Saturday evening we met for a BBQ at our house.

After a relaxed dinner. Kono, sitting right next to Danny, started to steer the conversation in the right direction and confessed that she had learned something out of the shooting incident: That with her little boy in mind she wouldn't be able to be a street cop anymore and that she requested the transfer to Honolulu police academy.

Relief crossed D's face. It let to a big smile as he congratulated her with a kiss and a long tender hug.

I remember: During Chins and mine confessions Dannos happy face turned into a frown before it was buried in his own hands. The minute of silence then made me nervous. I expected my friend to be over the moon by then. So I asked him: “What is it D.?”

He rubbed his face and looked at all of us as he stumbled: “I'm … it's ...hmm, that's unexpected...See, my heart skips a beat here. I'm just really happy for not to have to worry about you so much anymore.” He huffed a little: “Ok, that will spare me at least a lot of panic attacks, I think, he stated sarcastically. ” But I'm near one just now”, he continued involving his hands, “because I'm at a little at a loss here. So tell me please, were does that leave me? Do I have a job anymore?”

We looked at each other stunned. How could that be? It seemed no one of us had ever thought about that.

Suddenly the giggling of Gov Denning who was hiding his grinning face behind his hands broke the unpleasant silence. By the look at him I relaxed a little. It seemed at least one person had his wits together.

Sam (we were allowed to call him that now) then told him he would continue to work as the chief profiler for the HPD for cases his skills would be needed. His working place would be the Governors residence. because also he would work as a expert for security issues for the government.

“And don't think, I got pity on you Detective. I will smother you with work. There are some late arisen grievances I can't wait to take care of”. He told Danny.

Danny then pushed the wheelchair we planted him in to get him as comfortable as possible away from the table: “I have to think about this”, he stated and wheeled into the house.

I got up to follow him but Sams wive gave me a brief touch and told me to give him some time to process the bunch of news we had thrown at him that evening.

She was right. It took two hours for Danny to join us again. He had the photo album with shots he took from Grace in his lab. And positioned himself between the Dennings. He started the conversation: “ Sam, Mrs. Denning, have you ever heard about my daughter Grace?”...

Tears shot in my eyes then, this was rare for D.. I looked at Mrs. Denning and saw, her eyes matched mine, she seemed to comprehend. Letting the Dennings in this deep into his life was the unique way of Danny to honor the respect, understanding and the unrestricted support they evinced to him and to Five-0. And to say, that yes, he would take the job offering. Danny surpassed all expectations

In the last years, he did a great job for the government. So it was inevitable that a few month before Sam offered him the “thief of police-job” a second time...

 

**h50h50h5oh50**

 

**Applause rises up again as Danny ends his speech with thanking the Governor for his trust. I notice a slight trembling in his hand as he waved at the cheering crowd the other one is cramping around the speakers desk .**

**“He's done, isn't he?” Chin asked  
**

**“Yes, time for this to be over!” Kono stated**

**Thank god Sam notices it too. He thanks the law enforcement family for tending and then unceremoniously dismisses them.**

****h50h50h5oh50** **

**At home, Daniel now prefers the wheelchair to avoid to depend on so much pain medication. It was a long, hard way and along it, there was a lot of pain and sickness and vomiting from the strong pain pills and assurance from our ohana, that even with the wheelchair, Danny would still be Danny, 'till he finally surrendered much to everyone's great relief.**

**So this is his how I find me observing him as we are celebrating the “event of the century” at home with a quiet dinner with our friends.**

**D., placed in his chair, is fooling around with little Adam jun. whose godfather Chin is involved, too.**

**I enjoy the moment of happiness, grateful that it was given to us.**

**Kono and her husband return from their walk on the water edge and little Adam flies into his daddy's arms who hugs him tenderly.**

**I feel a slight sting in my chest in moments like that and my focus immediately turns to my friend. As usual Danny senses me watching him. He gives me a shrug and a little sad smile, then laughs as little Adam flies 'airplane-like' to land on his lab again for a cuddle-attack.**

**He catches my eyes again raises his eyebrows and nods slightly to tell me 'Stop worrying , it's okay'. I answer his smile with one of these foolish grins of mine because I feel 'guilty as charged', and I know, that he knows for sure, how much I love him.**

**It's time for us to look up into the sky again...  
**

****

**_END_ **

I hope you enjoyed this. Please review! I want to learn.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N This doesn't came entirely out of th blue. Nearly 17 Years ago my former sister in law was involved in such an accident as the victim. I visited her in the hospital during the first days when the fixator was in place . It was a picture I will never forget.


End file.
